tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-194203962024-03-08T14:58:40.314-08:00Heart as sail, ballast, rudder, bow...Strictly personal, assuming you believe that the political is also personal.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-80760942189401919302011-06-07T09:29:00.000-07:002011-06-07T09:29:06.108-07:00Tumblr InfoBecause sometimes my attention span just isn't up to writing long blog posts...<br />
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<a href="http://postmodsexgeek.tumblr.com/">Bits and Bytes of the Postmodern Sexgeek AKA Marie</a>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-46668024705455395392011-05-09T15:09:00.000-07:002011-05-09T15:09:43.790-07:00Life is short, boo, get to livin' or get to steppin'.Wow, I haven't posted since September of 2010. That's wild! I'm sure lots of people think that the Postmodern Sexgeek is done. Over. Finished. Finita la commedia and all that rot.<br />
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Yeah, not so fast. I'll admit I've gotten out of the habit of blogging. Life being what it is, I threw myself into the melee after the dissolution of my marriage and have been stumbling around trying to figure out this thing called life on my own. I've been somewhat successful in some areas and not so successful in others but as always, I continue to learn and I continue to change and grow. The day that stops happening, you might as well call Dr. Kevorkian because I've obviously given up on life.<br />
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I'm still doing the HIV prevention gig though I suspect I am not long for that world. The economy has not exactly been kind to public health endeavors and if I don't jump ship soon, it might just sink with me on it and no one likes that. I have no idea what I'll do next though. I'm seriously considering going back to school to earn my Masters degree in Applied Anthropology but that really depends a lot on funding and right now, baby, funding is something I do not haz.<br />
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I've started dating again and um...yeah. That's an occasionally unpleasant experience though there have been a few bright spots. There's also been some unintentional comedy but I'll have to address that some other time because it really is it's own separate blog. <br />
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Also on the list for a whole separate post are my ruminations on nonmonogamous/open/polyamorous relationships and dating. For now let's just say that "it's complicated" in both lovely and frustrating ways. The person I ended up dating in that fashion is wonderful in many ways but is also occasionally infuriating and too cocky for his own good (or for his age).<br />
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And yes, gentle reader, yours truly has discovered that she appears to have become, completely unintentionally, that urban legend known as a cougar. I didn't exactly set out to do so but I am finding that men my age are not terribly interested in me. Now before you roll your eyes at me, let me just say that I am down for dating men my age. The maturity gap to be found between a woman in her 40s and anyone in their 20s is pretty significant and occasionally make one want to tear out her hair. I suppose that's another blog post, innit?<br />
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Perhaps one of the things I am proudest of right now is my return to martial arts. In February I began training in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krav_maga">Krav Maga</a>, which is an Israeli style. It is brutal, no nonsense and effective and I currently feel far more able to defend myself than I did before I began not to mention the fact that I've managed to lose some weight while doing it. I also gained an incredibly awesome sparring partner who for now shall simply be called the Sparring Partner of Doom, or SPoD for short. She's much more protective of her online ID than I am so I will not be naming her but I will say this. She's very cool and exceedingly hot. Sorry sports fans, she's also taken so no, you cannot meet her.<br />
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I've been kicking around the idea of starting the podcast up again though I have no clue what to talk about or if anyone would even care. Then again, I think I said that when I first started it and it seemed to do ok so...who knows.<br />
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So yes, folks, I am still out here. I am still alive and I am still striving to refine this creation that is me. What the future holds in store for me, I do not know but I suspect it won't be boring. I wonder which of you might be coming on the journey with me. ;-)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A7vwGhneyZc/TchkgMSGoVI/AAAAAAAAAHg/OF6fMAeBlFs/s1600/duckface.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A7vwGhneyZc/TchkgMSGoVI/AAAAAAAAAHg/OF6fMAeBlFs/s320/duckface.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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I must absolutely add that the title of this post was originally stated by my dear friend, Russ Matthews. Not only is he good at pithy commentary on my personal life, he is also a struggling photographer in the Kansas City area. <a href="http://www.russmattphoto.com/">Check out his site</a> and pass it on.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-13699049344385407422010-09-20T19:49:00.000-07:002010-09-20T19:50:56.666-07:00Culinary TherapyWhat's a lady to do when she's singing the blues? Some drink, some actually do sing others may go see their therapists. Me? This mujer goes to the store, buys tasty ingredients and cooks. <br /><br />There is something incredibly soothing about the various steps that go into preparing a meal. I find a certain zen meditative state when I'm chopping vegetables, preparing my pots and pans, activities that I have performed countless times that feel as comfortable and familiar as my own skin. At the same time it's also a very sensual experience. Each step in the process invokes my senses: the myriad shades of green and cream on the inside of a brussels sprout, the scent of shallots frying in butter, the sizzle of the fish as I slide it into the pan. And we cannot forget the reward of the taste of food freshly prepared by one's own hands. I cannot draw, paint or even take an inspired photograph but I can create delicious works of art with my hands that fill the palate with layers of flavors like the paint on a canvas.<br /><br />So what was on my menu tonight? Tilapia in a white wine/lemon/butter sauce and roasted balsamic brussels sprouts. For dessert I cheated and bought a mini apple pie from Whole Foods. And oh yes, dear reader, it was all quite sabroso.<br /><br />I will take my kitchen over Freud any day.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-56346946954516459842010-09-14T11:41:00.000-07:002010-09-14T12:58:24.769-07:00Yes, I am still alive.Wow, has it really been 8 months since my last post? I hadn't really forgotten about this blog, not completely. I think I just felt like perhaps the Postmodern Sexgeek had reached the end of her tenure online. Now I'm not saying I am no longer a sexgeek, Heaven forfend! That's a lifelong thing and one I will never give up. Rather, I felt as if I had reached the end of my public persona. <br /><br />When my marriage ended a lot things changed for me and I started questioning everything about my life and work. Was it real? Was it authentic? Did I even know what the fuck I was talking about? The blog fell silent though I myself did not. Any of you who follow me on Twitter can attest to that. At this point I am not entirely certain what the future of this blog holds but I do know that I continue to live and I continue to have opinions, thoughts and feelings about everything in my life both near and distant.<br /><br />Perhaps I will continue to blog here. I have ideas, topics that I mull over in my head constantly though it isn't often that I commit them to words on a screen or if I do it's in my personal space where very few have access to them. We shall see.<br /><br />I'm not sure how many of you are actually still around or are still reading but if you are, thank you. And even if there's no one out there at this time, I'll continue to write because honestly, it's good for me and I've been out of the habit for far too long.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-14132996363876216512010-01-22T07:51:00.000-08:002010-01-22T08:28:12.199-08:00Trust Women: Blog for Choice 2010<center><a href="http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/choice-action-center/bfc10-main.html"><img src="http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/assets/graphics/bfc10-icon.png" target="_blank" border="0"" /></a></center><br /><br />Trust women. Two simple words and yet there is a world of meaning in them. What exactly does it mean? I suspect that everyone will have a different idea. When I see that phrase one of the first things I think about is how we women are often raised to mistrust each other. Some of us taught that every woman is competition for scarce resources, usually men, and therefore we should never place our trust in each other. I was lucky in that I didn't learn this lesson growing up. Instead I learned that women were the ones I could trust to be there for me, nurture me, love me. Trust women.<br /><br />Narrowing my scope a bit, the phrase has another meaning as well. A meaning that is part of what today is all about. Choice. Trusting women to make choices about our bodies, our health, our lives. Our right to have self determination, agency. Our right to decide for ourselves what to do not only with our reproduction but our entire bodies. Choice does not just mean that I get to choose whether to continue a pregnancy. It means that I also have the right to choose whether I get pregnant at all. It means that I can choose what sorts of medical procedures will be done to my body and why. It means that I get to choose what my body looks like and how I want to make it look that way, regardless of whether others approve or disapprove. It means I choose who has access to my body or that I can choose to allow no one access to it. Bodily determination is not something we should have to limit to our genitals or reproductive organs.<br /><br />Trust women. Let's not forget the importance of defining the word "women". Too often those of us who lay claim to the title feminist or womanist forget that not every woman is like us. Not every woman is cisexual, cisgender, heterosexual, lesbian, white, brown, black, middle class, wealthy, poor, degreed, living in the US. Not every woman has access to the internet, to safe living conditions, to health care. When we say trust women we must mean it in our soul. Every woman, no matter how different she is from us, must matter and must be trusted. If we, the "pro-woman" individuals, cannot say this and mean it down to our souls, if we cannot encompass the variety and richness of what being a woman is, then how can we expect anyone else to? How can we claim to fight for women's right to choose when we do not include every woman in that very word? It's simple. We cannot. We must fight through the various intersections of privilege we all have to see to it that when we say things like "trust women" or "right to choose" that none of our sisters is excluded, ignored, abandoned, neglected. If we can lift up and support the most marginalized of our hermanas then our ability to lift up the most privileged of them will follow as well. This should be our ultimate goal<br /><br />Trust women. It is possible. It is necessary. And we must begin to make it truth.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-12121681050015431742010-01-06T07:53:00.000-08:002010-01-06T07:55:00.151-08:00I'll have 3 Wrath, 4 Gluttony and 10 Lusts please! Oh and a Pride and Sloth on the side also.According to <a href="http://www.myneworleans.com/">New Orleans Magazine</a>, <span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">today marks the official beginning of the Mardi Gras Season.</span></span> Now unfortunately, I will once again NOT be attending Mardi Gras but in the spirit of the season I suppose I should get down to the sinning since it's no fun if you can't confess anything on Ash Wednesday right? A girl needs to earn her ashes and all that rot so I better get serious about it. I just need to decide which of the 7 Deadlies I am going to indulge in this happy season. I know I have wrath covered because...well, just because. Gluttony will be covered if I succeed in my plan to master at least one version of Mole. Sloth is an easy one to cover on weekends assuming I get a chance to do so since lately I've ended up with all kinds of engagements. Pride? Oh yeah, I've got that one down pat. As for lust...well, I've got that but i don't know if it counts if you're not actually, yanno, doing anything about it so we shall see on that one. Unless lusting for shoes..no, that would be Envy I think. At any rate, yes, I need to make with the sinning. You'll understand of course if I end up a little busy these next few weeks, yes? ;-)Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-35437208800315750862009-12-24T13:44:00.001-08:002009-12-24T13:44:09.761-08:00Happy Holidays for Whom?<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><a href='http://gudbuytjane.wordpress.com/2009/12/24/holidays/'>Holidays « gudbuytjane</a><br /><blockquote>Dismantling oppression requires acknowledgment of privilege, which is a difficult thing to do. We’re trained to evade it and to feel emotions such as anger and defensiveness when presented with it, because to acknowledge our privileges as individuals acknowledges the system from which that privilege arises. Still, if we are truly invested in change and seeking progressive alternatives to the way things are, we must be willing to engage that discomfort.<br /><br />Acknowledge your privilege this holiday season. Not “in the spirit of the season” – that phrase is couched in the hypocrisy of the public moralizing of an oppressor culture – but against the notion of a culture that abandons those who most need love and acceptance while promoting empty images of family and community. Acknowledge that, as you sit down to dinner with your family or loved ones, there are those who are not welcome to do the same with their families, and that a disproportionate number of those people are transgender or transsexual. </blockquote><br /><br />Despite any kvetching on my part about mi familia, at least I am lucky enough to have a family that loves and accepts me as well as my cis gay sister, uncles and cousins. Not everyone is so lucky.<br /><br />Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Humanity. No exceptions. No qualifications.<br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=fdba1262-00bb-8214-a72f-b35bf18c494e' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-62396186008471110352009-12-10T09:15:00.000-08:002009-12-10T09:17:54.624-08:00We need to stick a warning label on me after this one...<blockquote><a href="http://imagine2050.newcomm.org/2009/12/09/what-next-david-duke-to-testify-on-affirmative-action/" target="_blank">Did you hear the one about the white nationalist network traveling to Washington D.C. to participate in a Congressional hearing?</a></blockquote><br /><br />No really. I'm not joking. Our congressional "leaders" are seeking advice on immigration reform from people with known ties to white nationalist organizations and holocaust denialists. If anyone here has ever wondered why I get kinda pissed off when people blithely discuss immigration reform and quote bullshit from groups like this...here's your 411. Many of those at the forefront of the push for reform and tighter laws are a bunch of racist douchebags with ulterior motives, i.e., a USA that is "free' of the taint of non-white Western Euro people.<br /><br />This is not acceptable and I would hope it is obvious why. As I pointed out to a friend online, having these assholes testify for immigration reform is like having Polanski testify for the reform of sexual assault laws. Not. OK.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-74433884201936703252009-12-07T18:36:00.000-08:002009-12-07T18:37:29.079-08:00For the Kinksters Out There...<a href="http://fetlife.com/" target="_blank">Fetlife</a> is having a <a href="http://fetlife.com/sit_on_santas_lap" target="_blank">"Sit on Kinky Santa's Lap" Contest</a>. Enjoy!Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-80146531875051304092009-11-19T08:59:00.000-08:002009-11-19T09:01:02.983-08:00Gee, imagine that...<a target="_blank" href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/nov/19/caster-semenya-athletics-south-africa">Caster Semenya found "innocent" of any wrong" to retain 800M Gold Medal</a><br /><br />The fact that this young woman's privacy was so blatantly violated makes me angry but I am glad it was not compounded by the further injustice of having her medal stripped from her and her accomplishments dismissed. I can only imagine the kind of abuse she might have been/has been subject to by those who see her as "not a real woman". <a target="_blank" href="http://www.transgenderdor.org/?page_id=555"> There are a 150+ people who would testify to what that's like, were they still alive. </a> It also revealed just how rudimentary and incorrect our society's knowledge of sex and gender really are.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-82913133309173934582009-11-12T07:21:00.001-08:002009-11-12T07:21:37.499-08:00In case you hadn't heard...<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Lou Dobbs has been fired from CNN. He is now embarking on a whinging campaign that should probably find him a nice spot on Faux News. Bye bye Lou. We won't miss you one bit. <br/><br/><a href='http://www.splcenter.org/news/item.jsp?aid=406'>SPLCenter.org: Statement by SPLC President Richard Cohen on the Departure of Lou Dobbs from CNN</a><br/><blockquote>Statement by SPLC President Richard Cohen on the Departure of Lou Dobbs from CNN<br/>Richard Cohen<br/> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/>Earlier this year, we called upon CNN to remove Lou Dobbs from the air for trading in falsehoods and racist conspiracy theories. Tonight we are glad that Dobbs has announced his departure from his influential position at CNN.<br/><br/>In his announcement, Dobbs complained that the public debate over important issues is now defined by "partisanship and ideology rather than rigorous empirical thought and forthright analysis and discussion."<br/><br/>The truth is, Dobbs has done as much as anyone to poison the immigration debate by repeatedly reporting false information about immigrants. The most outrageous statement was his claim that immigrants were responsible for bringing thousands of new cases of leprosy to the United States during a recent three-year period. He also lent legitimacy to conspiracy theories, such as the claim that undocumented immigrants are part of a plot to reconquer the American Southwest. Most recently, he gave credence to the utterly baseless idea that President Obama is not a native-born American citizen.<br/><br/>Dobbs was certainly capable of fine journalism. But, as his ratings grew, he became a prisoner of the independent image he tried to cultivate, someone seemingly incapable of admitting a mistake. CNN should have asked him to resign long ago.<br/><br/>J. Richard Cohen<br/>President</blockquote><br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=9898fde4-ff8d-820c-8a37-a7c6eabab92f' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-31048690183379056162009-11-09T17:28:00.001-08:002009-11-09T18:18:27.101-08:00To grieving endings and celebrating new beginnings8 years ago tonight was the eve of a significant event in my life. 8 years later that event has come to naught and so a part of me grieves it however, I also realize that this is the beginning of something else, a new chapter in my book of life. I really and truly don't have much of a clue what is going to come next but I intend to meet whatever it is with an open and brave heart. I know that there will be missteps along the way. I will fall down and be hurt sometimes but that is part and parcel of the whole experience. The pain is as significant as the joy, or so I have always found. You will forgive me if I am somewhat moody the next couple of days. I am still grieving for the dreams and ideals I gave up even as I search for the new. So,I raise a glass for myself and to you reading this. Here's to the endings that bring us new beginnings...<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/366796/Cheers.jpg" /></center>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-77010754435527327922009-11-06T10:04:00.000-08:002009-11-06T10:11:21.047-08:00Health care reform: Destined to fail women?<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><a href='http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2009/11/05/wheres-birth-control'>Where's the Birth Control? | RHRealityCheck.org</a><br/><blockquote>Yet, before we resign ourselves to a very imperfect health reform bill, it's worth reminding lawmakers that <b>women's health extends far beyond abortion</b>. And while those who make our laws may fear the consequences of taking a stand for basic services for this half of the population, the cost of not doing it, both in terms of health and politics, is sure to be far greater. </blockquote><br/><br/>Emphasis is mine and it's one that needs to be stated over and over because there are a lot of clueless jerks out there who cannot get their heads around the fact that women are more than just reproductive organs. In fact, some of us don't even HAVE reproductive organs. Some of us are trans, some of us are intersex, some of us have simply chosen not to reproduce at all or are unable to. I know, I know, I may be breaking your brain here but seriously, the way they use the bodies of cis women like political footballs is shameful and somehow I doubt that they have even considered trans women in all this quibbling, again, shameful. If they had, you can bet that they'd still be made of fail.<br/><br/><br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=487eb417-701f-822d-9b8b-4cbd77f1cc86' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-27340006455174761172009-10-27T08:55:00.001-07:002009-10-27T08:55:36.536-07:00Found via Twitter...<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>This is an entry from <a href='http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/10/27/797548/-On-Rape-and-Men-%28Brace-Yourself%29' target='_blank'>Daily Kos</a> that someone on my Twitter feed posted today and I am glad she did. Too often sexual assaults is presented as a woman's problem. So much of what is out there about rape prevention is aimed at women and is defensive. It's all about us watching our backs, not going certain places alone, how to get away from an attacker, etc. There are too few programs/interventions aimed at the majority of those committing the sexual assaults: men. If we're going to change the stats regarding sexual assaults committed against women then something needs to change because what we're doing now isn't working.<br/><br/>For the record, the actual entry itself is potentially triggering, so be careful.<br/><br/><br/><a href='http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/10/27/797548/-On-Rape-and-Men-%28Brace-Yourself%29'>Daily Kos: On Rape and Men (Brace Yourself)</a><br/><blockquote>I am a male. I am a feminist. This diary is for 1) fellow feminists and 2) anyone who underestimates how pervasive the patriarchal sense of entitlement to a woman's body is in our culture. What does that mean? It means it's for everybody: honestly, I think you're one or the other. Black and white? Probably.<br/><br/>...<br/><br/>If you're a man reading this, this is what you have to do: you have to make your male friends uncomfortable. You have to bring up this subject out of the blue and tell them everything I just told you. You should especially quiz them on some of the recommendations on the rape prevention list. I don't give a shit if they look at you funny for it, especially if you believe them to truly be your friends. Addressing and preventing rape requires the audacity of reason, with an emphasis on "audacity." And if you encounter a man who consistently refuses to accept some of the arguments outlined in this diary, you should be watching him closely from now on.</blockquote><br/><br/>Also for the record, this entry is talking about cis women. I suspect the incidence of rape committed against trans women is far higher but the stats are even harder to collect/estimate correctly.<br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=426ab6ca-fbca-8b69-92d3-27647ad6518b' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-79958065645693529322009-10-23T18:07:00.001-07:002009-10-23T18:07:35.225-07:00Hey Bigotry!<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Tomorrow we can drive around this town and let the cops chase us around, <a href='http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/crime/stories/032609dnmetdelapaz.36d3c9f.html' target='_blank'>the past is gone</a> but something might be found take its place....<br/><br/><a href='http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local-beat/Dallas-Cop-Cites-Driver-for-Not-Speaking-English-65793662.html'>Dallas Police Gave 38 Improper No-English Tickets | NBC Dallas-Fort Worth</a><br/><blockquote>Police officers have improperly cited Dallas drivers for not being able to speak English 38 times in the past three years, Chief David Kunkle said Friday.<br/><br/>The discovery came after a woman was pulled over earlier this month for making an illegal U-turn and was given a ticket for being a "non-English speaking driver."<br/><br/>Kunkle said his department's computer system for citations has a pull-down menu that includes a law requiring drivers of commercial vehicles to speak English.<br/><br/>The chief said it was a federal law that was misapplied to local drivers of private vehicles.</blockquote><br/><br/>Sadly, I am not the least bit surprised other than that I would have expected this from <a href='http://www.maldef.org/immigration/litigation/vasquez_v_farmersbranch/' target='_blank'>Farmer's Branch</a> or <a href='http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/091709dnmetirvingcap.3d5e574.html' target='_blank'>Irving</a> first but yanno, whatever. We brown people are all the same anywhere you go right? I'm tempted to pretend I only speak French the next time I get pulled over. Wonder how they'd react to that?<br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=746de582-1f1e-849b-abbc-a925f7647946' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-12981357975830255842009-10-15T16:57:00.000-07:002009-10-15T17:02:38.706-07:00Gratuitous Cleavage Shot<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_MLSRehILh-c/Ste3DFyZBuI/AAAAAAAAACY/0RsD-RT3LJk/s1600-h/Thursdaycleavage.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_MLSRehILh-c/Ste3DFyZBuI/AAAAAAAAACY/0RsD-RT3LJk/s320/Thursdaycleavage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392980342520481506" border="0" /></a><br />Inspired by <a href="http://essin-em.com/2009/10/pirate-boobs-hnt/">Essin Em's Nearly Naked Thursday post</a>. Why the hell not? Boobies are awesome and sometimes it's nice to post something that is not angry or sad.<br /><br />Although while we're talking about issues...<br /><br />Remember this month is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Save those boobies, boys n' girls!Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-28601498047012772292009-10-13T11:50:00.000-07:002009-10-13T11:50:00.227-07:00Do I really need to keep saying this?<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><a href='http://nomoremoney.org/index.cfm?pageid=956'>No More Money - Take Action</a><br /><blockquote>Tell your Senators: Stop funding for abstinence-only-until-marriage programs! Only support funding for comprehensive sex education!<br /><br />The Senate Finance Committee recently approved two amendments to the health care reform bill-one creating a comprehensive sex education program for the states and the other extending the failed Title V abstinence-only-until-marriage program. We need to ensure Congress only funds a comprehensive approach to sex education and does not fund ineffective abstinence-only-until-marriage programs that leave young people at risk. </blockquote><br /><br />And why should we reject Abstinence Only sexuality education? Here's a primer for why I and many others are against it: <a target='_blank' href='http://www.nomoremoney.org/index.cfm?pageid=949'>Reality Behind Programs</a>.<br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=b0d15a95-8f7b-84e5-ab56-3bab24f8d815' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-26245413136707953102009-10-09T08:50:00.000-07:002009-10-09T08:51:47.805-07:00You're right Mr. President...<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/09/obama-wins-nobel-peace-pr_n_314907.html">It is a challenge to you.</a> During your campaign, you used a phrase that is deeply significant to the Chican@ community: "Yes we can/Si se puede". We are hoping that you live up to that promise and many of us want you to succeed but there have been far too many times this year that it felt like you were letting more cynical minds steer you away from that promise. Here's to hoping the Nobel steers you back on course.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-88496931690237648432009-10-07T19:52:00.000-07:002009-10-07T19:53:45.288-07:00Because I think it would make me OM NOM NOMMABLE<center><img src="http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/366796/cupcakecar.jpg" /></center><br /><br /><a href="http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/sitelets/christmasbook/fantasy.jhtml">Customized Cupcake Car</a><br /><blockquote><br />Put on your matching hat, slip under the muffin top of your Cupcake Car, and let the world figure itself out for awhile. Get (or give) the sheer, joyful chaos of a gift that is mind-blowing, triple-dog-dare, double-infinity forever cool. Make the kids or grandkids literally squeal with joy. Bring it to work and buzz the breakroom. Crash parades! Putter about the ‘hood. Ever had a crowd of kids chasing after you just for the crazy gleeful heck of it? (No worries, the top speed is a comfy-safe 7 mph.) What’s it made of? A 24-volt electric motor, a heavy-duty battery, sheet metal, wire, fabric, wood…and mad genius. Launched at Burning ManSM as a cooperative art car project, the Cupcake Car sprang from the fevered mind of Bay Area artist Lisa Pongrace and her less-rules-more-laughs posse of artists and techno geeks. Yours will be tricked out with your favorite topping, so start thinking flavors. </blockquote><br /><br />Seriously, this would be so much fun to drive around just for the sake of seeing people's expressions. And I would hand out cupcakes while I was at it and thereby put into motion my plans to DOMINATE THE EARTH! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!<br /><br />Yes. That's my plan for world domination. Cupcakes. What? Like YOU don't like cupcakes?????<br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="zemanta-pixie"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" alt="" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=35d5b48e-22f7-8e1a-a6c7-b1d79666887c" /></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-21314824514660152842009-10-01T08:23:00.000-07:002009-10-01T08:24:56.624-07:00Because "Just Say NO!" is not an educationI have probably ranted enough on this blog about sex education and the need for accurate comprehensive info for EVERYONE including kids but unfortunately not everyone is as enlightened as you folks. This month is the Sex Ed Month of Action (It is also still Latin@ Heritage month because we Latin@s are damned sexy!)and there's an online petition out there for people to "sign". <a href="http://postmodernsexgeek.blogspot.com/2009/09/because-if-we-keep-doing-same-thing.html" target="_blank">In light of the fact that the Senate Finance Committee has voted to re-fund abstinence only programs</a>, it might be a good idea for you to let them know you think that's a really, really bad idea.<br /><a href="http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.ViewPage&PageID=1174">SIECUS - Sex Ed Month of Action</a><br /><blockquote><br />Throughout October 2009, young people and their allies are engaging in advocacy efforts in communities across the country to raise awareness for the need for REAL sex education. The Sex Ed Month of Action will engage young people and their allies across the United States in showing their support for comprehensive sex education.<br /><br />It’s time to get REAL! Young people need access to comprehensive sex education programs that provide them with the information and skills they need to make responsible and informed decisions so they can lead healthy lives.<br /><br />SIECUS has teamed up with our colleagues to put an end to federal funding for ineffective abstinence-only-until-marriage programs and support the right of young people to receive age-appropriate and medically accurate comprehensive sex education.<br /><br />Now is the time to act! Please join Advocates for Youth, Choice USA, Law Students for Reproductive Justice, NARAL Pro-Choice America, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, SIECUS, Sierra Club, and Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice to support the work of young people and their allies from a diverse range of social movements in advocating for comprehensive sex education.<br /><br />As part of our collective advocacy, we will be sending a petition to leaders of Congress urging them to support the Responsible Education About Life (REAL) Act, to create the first dedicated federal funding stream for comprehensive sex education that meets the needs of all young people. Our goal is to collect 10,000 signatures by the end of the month!<br /><br />Get Involved Now!<br /><br /><br /> * <a target="_blank" href="http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/main.cfm?actionid=globalShowStaticContent&screenKey=cmpCampaignShow&campaign=RealAct&htmlUid=972adfdb-12fe-456e-9f94-202c760ddcb5&s=amplify">Click here to sign the petition online!</a><br /> * <a target="_blank" href="http://www.siecus.org/_data/global/images/REAL%20Act%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf">Click here for more information on the REAL Act.</a><br /> * <a target="_blank" href="http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.viewPage&pageId=482&parentID=478">Click here for information on the need for comprehensive sex education</a>.<br /><br /></blockquote>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-27207845638618971672009-09-30T09:21:00.000-07:002009-09-30T09:24:16.365-07:00Because if we keep doing the same thing over again, it might work this time!<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><a href='http://siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Feature.showFeature&FeatureID=1802'>SIECUS</a><br/><blockquote>Senate Finance Committee Votes to Fund Comprehensive Sex Education<br/>Failed Title V Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Funding Also Restored<br/> <br/>Washington, DC – Late last night, the Senate Finance Committee approved an amendment offered by Chairman Max Baucus (D-MT) to fund a comprehensive sex education funding stream, The Personal Responsibility Education for Adulthood Training.The amendment provides $75 million for states; $50 million of which would be geared to evidence-based, medically accurate, age-appropriate programs to educate adolescents about both abstinence and contraception in order to prevent unintended teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV/AIDS. The remaining funds would be for innovative programs as well as research and evaluation. The amendment passed 14–9 with Republican Senator Olympia Snowe (ME) joining all the Democrats voting in favor.<br/> <br/>“We would like to thank Chairman Baucus and his staff for their strong support of a comprehensive approach to sex education, ensuring that all young people have access to information so that they can make responsible decisions and lead healthy and safe lives,” said William Smith, vice president for public policy at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS). “The Baucus Amendment creates a new comprehensive sex education program for the states and can be easily reconciled with a similar measure, the Healthy Teen Initiative, on the House side. This is a huge step in putting evidence and common sense over hypermorality and will get states the money they need to support good programming.”<br/> <br/>There was also a vote on an amendment introduced by Senator Orin Hatch (R-UT) that reinstated funding for the failed Title V abstinence-only-until-marriage program which had expired on June 30, 2009. The amendment passed 12–11 with Democratic Senators Blanche Lincoln (AR) and Kent Conrad (ND) joining all the Republicans on the Committee in favor. Title V abstinence-only-until-marriage funding had been refused by nearly half of the states both because of the restrictive nature of the program and the fact that overwhelming evidence has proven these programs to be ineffective and a waste of taxpayer dollars. This amendment would direct $50 million a year through FY 2014 for the extension of the Title V abstinence-only programs.<br/> <br/>“This amendment takes a giant step backward by restoring funding for the failed and discredited abstinence-only-until-marriage program for the states,” continued Smith. “However, because this program so clearly doesn’t work and half the states don’t even participate, we are confident it will be stripped from the final bill and ask Congressional leaders and the White House to ensure this happens.”<br/> <br/>Both amendments still face several potential hurdles in committee, on the Senate floor, and in conference with the House before they become law.<br/> <br/>For more information, please contact Patrick Malone at pmalone@siecus.org, or (202)265-2405.</blockquote><br/><br/>Originally seen on <lj user='fengi'>'s LJ but I received this via email just now too. I love that those assholes won't give us a public option for health care but they will throw $50 million at failed programs that will continue to spread lies and misinformation about prevention of disease and unplanned pregnancies. Fuck them all right in their goddamn, useless ears.</lj><br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=74a1d89f-263f-8bf2-abe0-6e38189d8280' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-22001817736140642262009-09-21T12:25:00.000-07:002009-09-21T12:25:00.141-07:00Gassy, crazy old white guys...<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">Emitting hateful noxious gases. That is what Dobbs, Limgbaugh and their ilk are. Or so goes the theory from Nezua of <a href="http://theunapologeticmexican.org/elmachete">The Unapologetic Mexican</a>. This is the first good chuckle I've had all day.<br /><br /><br /><lj-embed id="128"><div class="youtube-video"><object height="330" width="600"><param value="true" name="allowfullscreen"> <param value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=6679534&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=cf0000&fullscreen=1" name="movie"> <embed allowfullscreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=6679534&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=cf0000&fullscreen=1" height="330" width="600"></embed> </object></div></lj-embed><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="zemanta-pixie"><img src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=77d244fe-c83b-877f-be19-b5c7df41cbbc" alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" /></div></div>Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-50758417121358971942009-09-14T21:41:00.000-07:002009-09-14T21:55:31.132-07:00Press Release from SWOP USAI am on the SWOP USA mailing list and received this press release just now encouraging me to forward it as widely as possibly so here it goes!<br /><br /><br />*** Please Forward Widely ***<br /><br />The Desiree Alliance, Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP-USA) and allied organizations such as BAYSWAN and the Best Practices Policy Project are saddened to observe the malicious tactics used by Glen Beck of Fox news in a recent “expose” of ACORN. All of our organizations stand firmly against the exploitation of minors in prostitution and we also oppose trafficking in persons, but we are concerned about the way the provision of services to adult sex workers was portrayed in the recent report.<br /><br />In Glen Beck’s effort to critique ACORN via a highly edited series of videos, he in fact belittles the efforts of sex workers who seek services to find stable living circumstances and financial help.<br /><br />“The Fox news report tears down the efforts of grassroots service providers all over the country to reach out to hard to reach communities of sex workers to help them,” said Tara Sawyer of SWOP-USA.<br /><br />“Sex workers are already very fearful about accessing services that could help them and these low-brow media attacks on service providers increase barriers and harm” she added.<br /><br />All of our organizations are concerned that the “expose” will cause service providers and non-profit organizations to shy away from providing harm reduction services and helping sex workers “where they are at.”<br /><br />“Providing sex workers with information about how to live safely, even though what they do is criminalized, is essential,” said Susan Lopez of Desiree Alliance “And we commend all organizations that provide these services to prevent HIV, help sex workers find housing, seek financial support and to take care of their health needs. Don’t turn sex workers away because of unconscionable undercover reports like those carried out by Fox.”<br /><br />About the Organizations:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.desireealliance.org/">The Desiree Allianc</a>e is a diverse, volunteer-based, sex worker-led network of organizations, communities and individuals across the US working in harm reduction, direct services, political advocacy and health services for sex workers. We provide leadership and create space for sex workers and supporters to come together to advocate for human, labor and civil rights for all workers in the sex industry.<br /><a href="http://www.swopusa.org/"><br />Sex Workers Outreach Project-USA</a> is a national social justice network dedicated to the fundamental human rights of sex workers and their communities, focusing on ending violence and stigma through education and advocacy.<br /><br /><br />--<br />.·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·.<br />Tara Sawyer<br />Sex Workers Outreach Project<br />Board Member<br />877-776-2004<br />912 Cole St. #202, San Francisco, CA 94117<br />24/7 support& referral hotline: 877-776-2004x1Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-85656886747913816752009-09-14T19:31:00.000-07:002009-09-14T19:37:06.490-07:00The Nature of Love (according to me)I’ve had a several conversations lately, both online and in real time, with friends about love. I suppose it isn’t surprising given the nature of my life changes recently that I’ve been thinking about such things but I have really been thinking on the topic for a long time. Probably since the day I agreed to marry my ex.<br /><br />I can’t honestly say that I’ve figured it out and I doubt I ever will. It would be arrogant of me to think that I’ve discovered the secrets of a phenomenon that has had the greatest philosophers , poets, prophets and lovers of the ages baffled since the concept was established. To paraphrase Socrates, a wise Latina sexgeek knows that she doesn’t know. ;-) I can however talk about what it is I have noticed and what my take on those observations are, though I won’t pretend my interpretation is necessarily superior over anyone else’s and these ideas are likely to change over the course of my lifetime because I’m flexible like that.<br /><br />One thing I’ve noticed is that we are big believers in “types” of love and assign differing amounts of relevance, importance and expectations to each type. Familial love, friendship love, romantic/sexual love…so many different types. Now of course I understand that there are differences in the various relationships. Obviously we don’t want to make it weird by getting them all mixed up, right? The thing I don’t like about this though is that most people seem to assign priority to the love by what “kind” of love it is. More often than not, Romantic love takes precedence over any other to the detriment sometimes of those other relationships. Of course, I’ve also seen it happen with familial love or relationships too. Personally, I dislike the idea that any relationship automatically takes precedence over any other simply because of the “type” of love/relationship it is.<br /><br />Reading back over that I realize that I am having issues with trying to decide whether I can correctly conflate the words “relationship” and “love”. Are they really the same thing? I’m not so sure but I think we do equate the two quite often. The only thing I do know is that regardless of the type of relationship I have with someone, if I love them, they will hold an important place in my soul and I don’t like to think that any of them is automatically more or less important than any other. I know more than a few people who would disagree with me and that’s fine. Again, this is a highly personal subject and everyone will think/feel/handle it differently.<br /><br />My other problem with how we see love is the kinds of demands/expectations we place on the people we love and our relationships with them depending on the type it is. Romantic love MUST be an always and forever kind of thing that fulfills all our wildest dreams and fantasies and a good portion of our needs as well. Familal love, especially parental or filial, is also supposed to be an unchanging, self sacrificing thing. In fact, we often demand that our love, beloved and their love for us never change. If it does then great drama and woe follows and relationships are often ended or damaged beyond repair. I dislike this tendency. Humans are innately adaptable creatures, it is our most effective survival mechanism, this ability to change and yet for some reason, in our connection to each other, we fight that natural ability. Lovers refuse to acknowledge that the person they loved 10 years ago may not be the same as the person standing before them now. A parent may not want to face that the baby they gave birth to is not the same helpless child 20 years later. The tug of war between the actual human and the image the lover (I am now using this in the sense of someone who loves, not the romantic sense) has of them is more often than not the cause of the friction between people. It’s very hard to acknowledge those changes and yet if we do not, if we do not allow our love to change the beloved may very well decide they need to look for love elsewhere…from someone who does not have such a stake in them remaining an immutable, unchanging ideal. Of course, even if they move on the chances are that they will experience the same issue all over again and may themselves make the same demands on that new person.<br /><br />Another issue I have observed is our fear of running out of love. The jealousy and possessiveness that we often feel regarding others love for us. We can see it in sibling rivalry, friend rivalries and, oh yes, most definitely in romantic rivalries. This idea that someone who loves us cannot possibly love anyone else besides us without us somehow losing some amount of that love. Now I am the first to admit that the energy it takes to care for someone is indeed a finite resource. My career has been all about caring for people and there are some days when my ability to care and be compassionate is just flat out gone. Everyone can experience burn out whether it’s in their job or in their relationships but I believe that loving someone, really loving them, can also be a source of energy for us. This is assuming that the relationship is a healthy one of course but if it is, then I do believe it’s capable of replenishing us rather than always taking from us. I don’t believe love is something that has to be divided. I know for instance that my mother loves me and my sister equally and I do not feel that my sister’s existence has diminished my mother’s love for me in anyway. Yes, when she was first born I did experience jealousy, as most kids do but eventually I cam to realize that I also loved her and in time, as she got over that whole Id-fueled selfish stage, she also loved me back. The love I was given did not in fact diminish but was multiplied. The same has often happened with my friends, I have found. When I meet the friend of a friend and we decide that we are also well matched we come to connect with each other as intensely as the original friendship and voila! I have the love of one more friend and so do they. No one has lost any love or a friendship and we have both gained in the process.<br /><br />Now I cannot speak for how this works in romantic relationships, having not engaged in polyamory (or whatever other name you choose to assign to the idea of having more than one committed relationship at a time) but I do know that I have loved, in a romantic sense, more than one person at a time. Because of the circumstances I highly doubt either person would say that they felt my love for them was equally intense but I know that in my heart, it felt that way to me. From what I have seen of the folks who have made this work, it does seem to be the case. I’m not saying there aren’t issues in it all but when the people involved are able to work it out, they do seem to be capable of loving their partners with equal intensity. This is perhaps one of the trickiest maneuvers, trying to make this work. Human beings seem to be programmed for possessiveness so the idea of sharing something that is so seemingly essential to our wellbeing is an unpleasant one at first but the thing is, are we really “sharing” love? Yes we share time but is love truly something that is divvied up like food amongst people? Or, as the cliché goes, are we simply multiplying it to “feed” everyone who we wish to feed? I think I prefer this idea myself, the idea that it isn’t necessarily a finite resource but something we can continue to love and not run out. We may run out of energy or time but love? I hope not.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19420396.post-15876843757123513762009-08-26T08:55:00.000-07:002009-08-26T08:57:41.627-07:00What's wrong with this article?<a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jIzjzyhnJn4ttGInSaFzYthkIIygD9AA39OO0">The Associated Press: Circumcision doesn't protect gays from AIDS virus</a><br /><blockquote><br />By MIKE STOBBE (AP) – 20 hours ago<br /><br />ATLANTA — Circumcision, which has helped prevent AIDS among heterosexual men in Africa, doesn't help protect gay men from the virus, according to the largest U.S. study to look at the question.<br /><br />The research, presented at a conference Tuesday, is expected to influence the government's first guidance on circumcision.<br /><br />Circumcision "is not considered beneficial" in stopping the spread of HIV through gay sex, said Dr. Peter Kilmarx, of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.</blockquote><br /><br />Could it be that the dumb ass reporter has equated anal sex with gay sex and hetero sex with vaginal sex? Maybe? Possibly? Few things irritate me more than those terms because they are incredibly narrow minded and imprecise. What about oral sex? Is that gay or hetero? Please do tell, Mr. Stobbe. I'd love to know. Oh wait, lemme guess...that's lesbian sex? I need to borrow someone's <a href="http://www.pleasuremenow.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=3135">Great American Challenge</a> so I can beat this clueless dope over the head with it until he gains some semblance of intelligence about human sexuality.<br /><br />Let me be a postmodern sexgeek here and break it down for you. Straight people have anal sex, gay men have other kinds of sex besides anal sex. Lesbians have anal sex too (we'll discuss the niceties of strap ons some other time). Any man who has unprotected, insertive anal/penile sex with someone, regardless of their gender, who has HIV, is at risk even if he is circumcised. Anyone who has receptive anal/penile sex with a man who has HIV is also at incredible amounts of risk regardless of circumcision. In other words folks, cut or uncut, using a condom is still your best bet for preventiing infection with HIV and other STD's.Post-Modern Sex Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05228973642366427851noreply@blogger.com3