Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Men aren't from Mars?

Turn-ons, turn-offs, desire varies widely among men
Among the revelations from their focus groups in which men talked about what influenced their sexual desire and arousal: one man's turn-on is often another's turn-off; an erection doesn't always signal arousal; and not every guy wants to jump into bed at the drop of a hat.

OMG! You mean men aren't the Borg? They actually, like, you know, have individual preferences and stuff? What a novel concept...

Really, if you are someone who has sex/falls in love with men, I'd say this is hardly news despite all the (often sexist) jokes we may make to the contrary. And thank god for variety because that means there really is someone for everyone.

What I really loved was this:
And for many men, a self-confident partner was also more desirable than one who didn't feel good about herself. In addition to a nice body and a pretty face, many men found intelligence "really attractive" and "a big turn on."

Imagine that, a woman with confidence is sexy. Go figure. Now I've been as guilty as the next woman of having poor body image and feeling really ugly/fat/too old/etc. but even on those days, I know that this is a truth. Yes, guys (and girls) really do make passes at sexgeeks who wear glasses.

What I do think is interesting is that studies like this are done so rarely. I think our society does men a disservice by trying to paint them all with a broad brush when it comes to discussing men's sexuality. And this study was only done with predominantly white men who were all straight. Can you imagine the richness of variety they would find if they were studying men of all ethnicities and orientations?

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