I found this on in my email today thanks to the sex workers advocacy email list and thought it was by far one of the better musings on the Spitzer situation.
Up to now it has all been hand wringing and condemnation but, being the sexgeek that I am, I am more interested in the whys and wherefores of why powerful people take such chances with their career and life. After all, men in positions of power have always had access to willing (and occasionally unwilling) women and men for sexual purposes. Why do they need to pay for it? What is that all about? According to the writer, who is also a therapist, they do it because when you pay for it, there is no need to worry about "her" satisfaction because you've already taken care of her therefore, it's ALL about you. Now even though I realize how that may sound, I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand. As someone in a position where I often feel responsible for other people, regardless of whether that's true or not, the idea of being able to have someone else focus on me without my having to expend any emotional energy whatsoever is highly seductive. Now granted, for me that means a professional massage as opposed to sex but the concept is the same. I pay the RMT his/her fee and I can lay back and relax and not worry about trying to engage them in conversation or whether I am being compassionate enough or if I am listening actively enough. It's a nice break from the usual dynamic I have with human beings on an everyday basis.
I can also agree with the writer in that this particular way of seeing the world tends to interfere with one's personal relationships. When you often see interpersonal relationships as one more responsibility, one more life for you to be responsible for, is it any wonder that you might shy away from them? Even the ones you already have?
Yeah, fucked up, I know, but it is what it is. At the very least I acknowledge this and it helps me to stop my "stinking thinking", as they call it in the world of rehab, and start to acknowledge that yeah, most of my loved ones are capable of taking care of themselves. Gee what a thought. :)
At any rate, the article gave a different look at what happened and it was thought provoking, to me. Give it a read and tell me what you think.
